I am not sure why the last couple of days have been so rough. It could have been because of the medication, I was taking 150mgs of Lyrica 3x a day and I was in such a fog that I didn't even know my own name, so the doctor took me down to 1x a day only at night. I think I am still feeling a little groggy from that. It also could be that I have been waiting on an email that is going to change my life. I found a company that I am going to work for, working for myself. I will be doing something that I am passionate about and the company is faith-based. I just have to be patient and I am not good at that which is something I really need to work on but the more I work on it the harder it gets. It could also be that on top of all of this, I finally got some hours at work. Twenty-six hours may not seem like a lot to some but I have been going from 6-9 hours a week for a while to now working 26 hours on my feet. So going from 6 hours a week (and not all in one day) to 26 hours a week (6 hours a day)...I am not only physically tired but I am emotonally tired. I know this sounds like a lot of whining and it probably is but I am hoping it will make me feel better.
My daughter called me a ray of sunshine once and I was very happy to hear that but the problem is that sometimes it does rain. I am almost always a very happy person. I always remember how much God Loves me and that I should be grateful for everything in my life and even when I feel like this I am extremely grateful to God for everything I have been given. But there are days when it rains...sometimes its a drizzle and sometimes it's a downpour.
The last few days I have to accept as a downpour. Just as in life when it rains I always wait in anticipation for what will come when the storm is over. I always think about what the flowers will look like when the rain ends, I think about how green the trees will be when the sun comes back out. So I will try and take a deep breath through this rain storm in my life and think about how beautiful life will be on the other side of this storm. I believe that God has an amazing gift waiting for me on the other side of this drizzle...It will be an awesome rainbow of sorts and I am willing to wait. Thank you Lord for giving me the gift of writing through this storm and finding you again. I love you!!!
I gotta believe that rain is a good thing too, no? Just sayin'. Maybe don't be so hard on yourself for having feelings. Feelings are good things, we need them, just like grass and plants need rain. All has its purpose. If it were all sunshine and light there wouldn't be any rainbows, or shade or many many other things.
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