Changing Your Picture

I have had this phrase in my head for many years now, "Change Your Picture".  Apparently we are in charge of what our mind sees so when we continue to see things or feel things we don't like, we have the power to change it by "Changing Our Picture".  Now I have to admit that I wish I had more training in this change,  because changing the picture in your mind is like using those new remotes with all the buttons.  I still have problems with that and need help when all of the electronics don't turn on like they are suppose to when I hit the power button.  But when you are finally able to change a negative thought in your mind to a positive one it is truly an amazing feeling.  It feels as if a miracle has occurred and I believe that in many ways it has. 

This happened to me recently and I was absolutely elated.  I thought that I suffered from depression for many years of my life and I probably did because I told myself I did.  I had been to the doctors many times and had been on medications and at one point even went to see a therapist.  By the way, he was the one the started to teach me that I could change the picture in my head, but to no avail none of these medicines really seemed to work and I constantly seemed to be looking for the answer to why was I still depressed.  While having a conversation with a very close friend and admitting to her that I suffered from depression, she was shocked, and said she would have never guessed that I was depressed.  She found me to be very motivational and very inspirational and in that instant she helped me flip my picture.

We all have reasons to be sad and have depressed moments.  Some of us that are mothers may have a laundry list and yes you can count the laundry.  There are many things that happen in our lives that can truly bring us down the road to be sad.  I have been through many transitions in the last year of my life that have left me spinning and there was no wonder I had moments of feeling as if my life was spinning out of control.  You can't take a life and throw all the pieces up in the air and expect everything to fall down in all the right places.  This is life...

Having kids is the same, they rule most of the time.  Parents are always teaching their children and forget that they are also living and by the time the kids are grown and gone, they find that their lives are behind them and they are questioning everything they did as parents.  As a mother this is my biggest mountain to climb.  I'm not sure I will ever actually fully rest in all the decisions I made as a mother but I am trying to change this picture.  I am working on " I gave my kids the tools they need and it's their choice to use them, I did my job".

Illness is another interruption in life and it definitely can lead to depressive moments. I watched my mom survive cancer, to me one of the worst diseases, with amazing strength.  But there were depressive moments.  There has to be.  You are initially handed a death sentence.  But then you have to choose what you will do with it.  My mom chose to LIVE with it.  And by live I mean she took her cancer and said, " Ok Lord...What is it you want me to do with this?"  Did she cry? Yes.  Was she tired?  All the time.  Did she get angry?  Definitely.  But she also fought.  She changed the picture in her mind to show how she would live with cancer instead of die with cancer.  She reached out to others with cancer and shared her story.  She reached out to others who didn't have cancer and taught them about compassion.  She still to this day, five years later, is raising money to beat cancer.  She made a choice to make the picture in her mind a positive picture of life and not death.

So I am happy to say that I am not a depressed person.  I do not suffer from depression.  There are times when I have a good cry and that's ok, it's a great cleaning of my soul.   I have also started using a technique of being thankful for everything in my life.  I have found that the more things that I can be thankful for the more things I find to be thankful for.  It is truly a Blessing from God when you start looking at things through different eyes how much things change.  I am thankful to God for the people in my life and for my health.  I am thankful to God for you who are reading my blog that you will find many Blessings today.