When I Grow Up...

As a child you are always asked "What do you want to be when you grow up?".  I really don't remember what it was that I wanted to be when I was a child.  I know when I was in high school I thought I wanted to be a physical therapist and then I had that one teacher that told me I wasn't smart enough to be a physical therapist so after that comment I kind of lost interest in most academic achievements.  After high school I did go to college but as my mom will tell you I majored in cheereleading and once that was over I really lost interest in the academic part of the institution.  It wasn't too long after I left the college life that I met someone and got pregnant with my first child.  So it was set it motion, being a wife and mother was what I was going to be when I grew up.

One day while driving in the minivan with my now three children, I said to God, "Is this it?" Is this all I'm suppose to be?"  I thought this was the end, this was one of those, Oh my God moments when my life is over, I will never be anything more than I am right at this moment.  Then God spoke to me, and he said "Yes, this is what I want you to be, a mom to these three children.  Can you do this for me?"  I was very happy to answer his call and say of course I can,  I would be more than happy to do that for you.  I will be the best mother I can be for you.  I thanked him for this gift.  Our children are gifts from God.  They are not ours to keep forever.  We are to bring them up, teach them what the Lord wants them to know.  We are to give them the gifts and tools that the Lord gave us to give to them and then we have to let them go to continue life.  Do we stop loving them?  Never.  Do we stop helping them?  No, but we have limits.  As a person who accepted the calling of being a mom first,  letting go of the "children" was the most difficult part of being a mom.  As I have stated before in a previous blog without my children I sometimes feel like I don't have a life.

Now that I am in the second half of my life and my children are grown and on their own I am once again asking myself, "What do I want to be when I grow up?". I had been patiently waiting for God to tell me if he had something else for me to do but I don't do patience very well.  I have been applying for jobs but nothing really coming back at me.  So I have decided to stop being patient and start being thankful to God for everything he has given me so far in my life.  He has truly Blessed me.  I almost feel as if I should wait because he has given me so much that maybe I need to wait my turn a little more.  Thank you Lord for everything you have given me!!!